| PREVIOUS | NEXT | NEW SEARCH |
Punch. March 16, 1872. Uncut and unfolded.. ...
THE NEW LIBRARY SERIES OF "PUNCH."
Volumes I. and II. are now published, in a handsome Leather Binding. Copies are kept on Sale and Subscribers' Names received by all the principal Booksellers.
Bradbury, Evans, & Co., 10, Bouverie Street, London, E.C.
PUNCH
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY.
PRICE THREEPENCE.
No. 1601.
VOLUME
THE
SIXTY-SECOND.
MARCH 16, 1872.
PUNCH OFFICE, 85, FLEET STREET.
AND SOLD BY ALL BOOKSELLERS.
In a few days will be published,
"BOTANY FOR BEGINNERS." By Dr. MAXWELL T. MASTERS.
HOW TO LAY OUT A GARDEN. By Edward Kemp. 3rd Edition. Price 18s.
THE LADIES' COMPANION TO THE FLOWER GARDEN. By Mrs. LOUDON. 8th Edition. Price 7s.
SIR JOSEPH PAXTON'S BOTANICAL DICTIONARY. Entirely New Edition. Price 25s.
REV. O. FISHER "ON GROWING ROSES OUT-OF-DOORS." Price 6d.
"HOW TO GROW MUSHROOMS." By William Earley. Price 1s.
Registered at the General Post Office as a Newspaper.]
Page 109 { page image }
March 16, 1872.] .......... PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. .......... 109
[Illustration]
SATISFACTORY.
"Dining at Lady Laburnum's to-morrow?" "Yaas."
"So am I." "So Glad!"
"So Glad you' Glad!!" "SO Glad you're Glad I'm Glad!!!"
ANCIENT ROMAN REVIVALS.
In a letter signed "Sellerim," the Morning Post publishes an account of a trapèze performance at the Alhambria Theatre exhibited by two girls, respectively sixteen and twelve years old. The entertainment afforded by these children to an intelligent British Public essentially consists in risking their lives. The "apparatus" which they employ to afford our Kind this pleasure is "nearly twice as high and dangerous as that used by Leotard." One of their feats, indeed, according to "Sellerim," is "technically and expressively termed 'a leap for life'." The mere perusal of its description is enough to turn any moderately nervous person, who is in the least degree imaginative, delightfully giddy.
Among the series of splendid Peep-shows at the Crystal Palace illustrative of Pompeii, is a representation of the sort of sport shown by gladiators on the arena of ancient Roman amphitheatre. Why should not British managers be at liberty to revive this sort of spectacle for the amusement of the humane and enlightened persons who rush to witness trapèze performances? Only because we have no "Dacia men," or other captives or slaves, whose lives are of no consequence, so that they can be killed without being murdered in the eye of the law. If gladiatorial combats were only legal, like trapèze feats, they would be not at all less elevating morally and intellectually than those other dangerous and possibly, if not necessarily fatal displays. On the contrary, perhaps the sight of savages slaying one another would, in comparison with that of innocent children incurring the peril of death, be considerably the more gratifying to the benevolent spectator. Moreover, trapèze performers, in case of tumbling, may possibly fall on the people below, and even children of twelve years old falling all the way from the gallery to the pit would drop down upon them with a weight quite great enough to hurt those good people's heads. No inconvenience of this sort could be caused by falling gladiators. The Legislature might be petitioned to give the Lord Chamberlain the power of licensing such real tragedies as those which used to be enacted in the Colosseum. Advertised by the appellation of Sanguinary Scenes in the Circle, no doubt they would draw crowds of those sightseers who delight in the scenes as like them as is possible in the present state of civilisation. The revived scenes of slaughter would exceed the original if enriched with the superaddition of a comic element in the person of a Fool in the Ring, whose drolleries should, of course, be entirely of that practical kind which alone in their simplicity would be appreciable by beholders as richly endowed with thought and imagination as our trapèze performance-goers.
As we conclude these profound remarks, we observe that a poor boy, of fourteen, has just been killed by a fall from a trapèze at the Alhambra Music Hall (but this is an imitation Alhambra), at Nottingham. Certainly we do not cancel the above paragraph.
A COUPLET FOR A KING.
His Majesty the King of Siam, now on a visit at Bombay, has been showing himself a highly civilised monarch there. He was, according to the Bombay Gazette, received by the Commander-in-Chief at the station; but there is reason to doubt that he announced himself to that gallant officer in an extemporaneous couplet of macaronic verse, saying:--
"Ego sum, I am,
The King of Siam."
For, indeed, nobody has stated that he did any such thing. Somebody, however, may have been reminded of one of Gay's Fables, in which a bookseller invites a wiser elephant to become literary.
"Learned Sir, if you'd employ your pen
Against the senseless sons of men,
Or write the history of Siam,
No man is better pay than I am."
The animal had not the elegant manners displayed by literary men, especially when they receive such invitations from publishers.
"Then, wrinkling with a sneer his trunk,
'Friend,' quoth the elephant, 'you're drunk.'"
SONG BY A SOUTHERNER.
(To President Grant.)
Down upon John Bull, Ulysses!
Bring the Britishers to book!
Statesmanlike of you, now this is.
They'll repent the line they took
When, in hostile camps divided,
We were fighting; we and you;
And with neither part they sided,
But stood neutral 'twixt the two.
They'll repent not having taken
Counsel tendered for their good,
And, with constancy unshaken,
'Gainst some pressure having stood.
They might have, instead of letting
Alabama slip, of course,
In a fix by that means getting,
Taken quite another course:
Might, as then in no condition
Two to one were you to meet,
Us have granted recognition,
And have backed it with their fleet,
Of our ports to make swift clearance,
In event of war, at hand--
They'll repent non-interference,
Which has cost them your demand.
But two hundred millions under
Put your claims, or you'll have made,
Pressing that surcharge, a blunder;
Yes, Sir, for you'll nought get paid.
England will to fight count cheaper
Than to pay all that for peace;
Moderation will be deeper,
With a view John Bull to fleece.
Soul and Shoe.
An "eminent Spiritualist" writes that the means by which tables are caused to make noises are what he calls "Psychics." Is this a misprint for "Sly kicks"? If so, the Eminent and Mr. Punch are agreed.
Clerks of the Works.--Watchmakers' Assistants.
Page 110 { page image }
110 .......... PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. .......... [March 16, 1872.
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Monday, March 4.--What an odd world it is! Or stop, let us be classical. Horace is always welcome to the English gentlemen.
[Illustration] INCOME TAX.
Qui fit. Mæcenas, ut nemo, quam sibi sortem,
Seu ratio dederit, seu fors objecerit, illà
Contentus vivat: laudet diversa sequentes?
Mr. Theodore Martin, you are always happy to oblige a lady, we are sure. There may be one lady who desires an interpretation. Sing:
"Tell me, Mæcenas, if you can,
How comes it that no mortal man
Is with is lot in life content,
Whether he owes it to the bent
Of his free choice, or fortune's whim,
And why is there such charm for him
In the pursuit his neighbour plies?"
These Lords, who might do nothing but walk about the Squares with golden coronets on their brows, patronising the plebeians, are already clamouring for work. They envy the Commons, and demand Bills. Lord Granville promised them something, perhaps a Cattle Bill, as if the Nobles were those "whose talk is of bullocks."
As numbers of the Peers came up to that Lord, and congratulated him on the birth, that morning, of a son and heir, Mr. Punch may surely add his gratulatory compliment. There is no lady in the Peerage, or out of it, who has two prettier names than Lady Granville. "Castalia Rosalind" makes perfect music. By the way, the Earl gave a large dinner-party the same evening. The aristocracy, it is true, do not shout and sing after dinner, like cads, but still--.
In the Commons, Mr. Pender took his seat for Wick. Do you know that this gentleman hath a town-house that must be dear to every lover of English literature? 'Tis the house in which Horace Walpole spent the earlier part of his life, before Sir Robert moved to the other house in Arlington Street, over the way.
The French Government are obligingly deporting to England batches of Communists. Twenty were sent from Dieppe. We believe that at least half of them are no worse than other people, and that a great many are much to be pitied, but the remitting them here is not a friendly act.
Colonel Tomline got on his silver coinage again, and Mr. Lowe explained that Government was not bound to keep a certain quantity going about. When there is a demand, the Mint coins. What is the reason that the Mint has not struck a graceful Thanksgiving Medal, to be procured at various prices? A collection of French medals is a history. Doe we never do anything worth commemorating?
We went into Committee on Druid Cardwell's Army Scheme. Mr. Holms, of Hackney (hard words for most of his constituents), moved to reduce the Army by 20,000 men. There was a debate on this, and Mr. Punch observed with satisfaction that Sir Henry Hoare (hard words for most of his constituents) rebuked those who would, unpatriotically, weaken our land force. He begged Mr. Cardwell not to listen to Rodomontade--that is the way to spell the word, which is derived from the name of the great old hero whose deeds were, however, not so great as fools said they were. Here, the aitch is to be dropped out.
Mr. Göschen said that Government and its workmen were on the best terms with one another, and that it would be a good thing if Members and others did not come meddling between them. We rather incline to hold with him.
Tuesday.--Lord Lansdowne said that the Public Offices in Downing Street would be ready in 1874, and in the mean time he should not pull down the houses in front of them. Very well, but will he mind having the road thereabouts occasionally cleaned? It was complained of to Parliament by Charles the Second, who said that his bride had to come to him through the mud there, and we are not sure that it has been swept since.
In the Commons Mr. Dixon led on his League to battle against the Education Act. Mr. Forster met him full front, and defied him, and carried a resolution to the effect that the Act has not yet had fair play, and ought not to be meddled with. The Conservatives stood by the Cabinet, and the meddlers, who are inspired by a vehement and doubtless conscientious hate of Church influences, and who prefer hindering education to letting the Church educate, were twice defeated, by 355 to 94, and by 323 to 98. Observe.--Mr. Forster is accumulating golden opinions from all sorts of men, and one day he will stand on the aureous heap, and then you'll see how high he'll be, if he only minds his business and reads his Punch.
Wednesday.--This was a great day at Westminster, if not in the House. On Monday, the jury in the Tichborne case had said that they did not want any more evidence, meaning that they were convinced that the Claimant was an Impostor. To-day, the sponge was thrown up, and, a few hours later, Claimant Castro, or Orton, or whatever he is, was safe in the care of Mr. Jonas, the excellent Governor of Newgate. The Chief Justice declared his opinion that Castro had been guilty of wilful and corrupt perjury. So that those who warned the Australian butcher that at the end of the trial it must be "Tichborne or Portland," warned him wisely. Mr. Punch joyfully records the collapse of an audacious attempt at robbery, supported by one of the most cruel and dastardly slanders ever devised by rogues in council. He also rejoices in the thought that the folks who lent money in aid of the scheme have lost it all.
Mr. Charley carried the Second Reading of a Bill for the protection of "Infants" whom it is not sought to rob, but to kill, from the practices of Baby-Farmers. The penalties imposed are "rough and ready;" and yet Mr. Winterbotham, for the Government, did not admire the measure. If that be its worst fault, we earnestly hope that it will pass.
Mr. Muntz carried the Second Reading of another good measure, one for preventing the Adulteration of Food. It is to increase the penalties for this kind of rascality, but Lord E. Cecil thought it not stringent enough. Perhaps Government, this time, did not admire it on that account. Your Minister is a wonderful being.
Thursday.--Well said, Lord Malmesbury. We have not had the frequent happiness of applauding your Lordship, and therefore have the more pleasure in assuring you of our present respect and esteem. You complain that the traffic in London is incessantly impeded by coal-waggons. Yes, and by all sorts of other abominable Juggernaut cars, which ought not to be allowed in the street during the hours of business. But the Railway element is too strong in the House of Commons to let us hope for redress. Yet those who pretend to study the wishes and comfort of the people should note the frantic joy of the population when a Van comes to grief, and the pleasure with which we all receive the news that a Van-Demon is sent to jail. Life and limb are in danger every minute of the day from the vans and waggons. A League of Country Members, who are not afraid of certain influences, might come to our aid.
Mr. Gladstone said the Government held themselves bound to pay the costs incurred by Governor Eyre. It will be remembered that he had to defend himself against fanatic prosecutions. To Mr. M'Arthur, who absurdly brought up the case of Gordon, a coloured Baptist preacher, hanged for his share in the Jamaica riots, Mr. Gladstone quietly replied, that there was no analogy between the cases, and that no compensation was due to Gordon's representatives.
The Attorney-General informed Mr. Eykyn that the perjured Castro would certainly be prosecuted by the Crown, and that it was under consideration whether certain other persons should not receive the same attention. We fear that they have accepted notice to "bolt."
Scotch Education occupied the rest of the evening. Mr. Auberon Herbert has been taken to task for saying that Parliament should decide questions without reference to the temporary opinion of the constituencies, yet Mr. Orr Ewing, one of the gravest and most sensible men in the House, said just the same thing later--"we were to vote on our convictions of what was right, irrespective of the feeling out of doors." Are we Legislators or Delegates? The Scotch Bill was carried by an enormous majority-238 to six!
Friday.--The Cape Colony gives more trouble to the Colonial Office than all the other colonies put together, complained Ministers, in answer to some pertinent inquiries by Lord Salisbury. Hm! There is a story in Sydney Smith's memoirs about a pugnacious person who related that a dog had rushed out and bitten him. Sydney said that he should like to hear the dog's account of the matter.
In the Commons we heard that Price Alamayhew, son of Theodore of Abyssinia, was to be carefully educated as a private young gentleman, in England. He is too young and delicate for a rough public school. He
Page 111 { page image }
March 16, 1872.] .......... PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. .......... 111
might have been re-christened Rasselas, in honour of the literature of his adopted country.
Debate on question whether a Welsh County Court Judge ought to be able to understand Welsh. Members for Wales were very courteous, if urgent, in their representations that he ought; and Mr. Bruce, who is "half a Welshman," promised that, in future, attention should be paid to their desire. Justice should be blind, but not virtually deaf.
We are tired of the Ewelme Rectory business. It came on again, and Mr. Gladstone defended himself with a great deal of ability, but Mr. Henley summed up the proceeding in what he stated to be the way the "country folks" described it. "It ain't right, and we wouldn't have expected it from Mr. Gladstone."
The Parks Bill made much progress, in spite of Mr. Vernon Harcourt and the mob meetings, at which persons in mock canonicals chant profane parodies on the Litany, by way of proving that the assemblies are desirable.
EVENINGS FROM HOME.
Mr. Barlow, and Masters Tommy Merton and Harry Sandford, visit the Haymarket Theatre.
[Illustration] SHRIMP TEAS
2¢ HEAD
Tommy and Harry were much diverted with the ceremonies of the festal Tuesday, which they witnessed partly from a convenient situation in Fleet Street, and partly from a prominent position near the Marble Arch, whither they repaired in all hasted after cheering the Queen at St. Paul's. On this occasion Tommy was not a little gratified with the high respect with which he found himself treated, as well by the admiring populace, as by the honest soldiery, and the chiefs of the intelligent police.
"I am indeed glad," said Tommy, "to have been a spectator of this marvellous exhibition of enthusiastic loyalty. I had thought that Queens and Princes never did anything but wear crowns on their heads, and eat sweetmeats all day. I see that I was wrong. As for the Lord Mayor and the Sheriffs, I protest I am so delighted with their grandeur and beauty, that I could spend the whole day in observing them."
"It was indeed fortunate," observed Mr. Barlow, "that the weather was so uncommonly fine. But were we denizens of a more northern region, we should be compelled to dwell in a climate where, during winter, darkness reigns for several months."
Tommy. Pray, Sir, stop. What! are there countries where it is night continually for several months together?
Harry. Indeed, Tommy, Mr. Barlow is right.
Tommy. Why, then, Sir, I protest such a country should be filled with theatres. For my part, I would not care how long the night was, so that I could be continually diverted with some entertaining spectacle. Truly, Sir, in such a climate as you have been describing, a run of one night for any theatrical exhibition would indicate a great success.
Mr. Barlow now produced three tickets for the Haymarket Theatre, and proposed that, should his young friends not be overcome with fatigue, they should forthwith set out for that place of amusement.
"Dear heart!" said Tommy, "what a number of plays we shall have seen before our holidays are ended! And, indeed, I begin to be of opinion that it is impossible for a person of elegance to live anywhere except in London."
Harry smiled at this, and Mr. Barlow observed, that if he felt tired he could go to bed at once.
"O pray, Sir," said Tommy, "do let us visit the theatre to-night! I think I could now attend a theatrical entertainment for ever without being tired."
After listening to some excellent melodies with which the honest musicians seated in the orchestra for that purpose had regaled them, they now turned all their attention towards the stage, having been informed by their beloved tutor that they were now about to witness a mythological comedy entitled Pygmalion and Galatæa.
Harry. As I am alive, here is Mr. Buckstone. Now, Master Tommy, we shall indeed be vastly diverted.
During the progress of the play the young people showed by their attentive demeanour how pleased they were with everything they saw and heard.
"There is," continued Mr. Barlow, "a certain freshness in the treatment of this story, and an easiness in the versification, which entitle the honest author to a larger share of commendation than I am, in most cases, able to bestow."
Harry. This is intended for a Greek piece.
Mr. Barlow. Without doubt.
Harry. Is, then, Sir, Leucippe a correct name for a Greek soldier?
Mr. Barlow. You may remember, Harry, that, at the Queen's Theatre, when "Apoecide" was pronounced "Ăppy[breve]-cīdes," I told you, perhaps there existed some authority for these quantities with which we were unacquainted. And in this case I do not doubt but that the honest writer and the sturdy comedian to whom this part has been intrusted, had each sufficient warrant, both for the appellation and the costume which closely resembles that of the illustrious Julius Cæsar. But where all is so good, these are small matters; and my dear Tommy and Harry, I would warn you, as strongly against excessive and indiscriminate praise on the one hand, as against such useless hypercriticism which, in examining, with one eye, certain faulty details through a microscope, shuts the other to the better part of the picture. And, indeed, for my part, I would as soon blame the entire work for this oversight as charge upon the worthy author the selection of the Euston Road Statuary which adorns Pygmalion's studio, or the Egyptian costume of the lady who plays the Greek wife, Cynisca. I trust, my dear Tommy and Harry, that you will be ever able to distinguish sound from sense, and to discriminate between what is merely verse, and what is really poetry. I do not think that I have, for some space, witnessed any theatrical representation where, as in this case, the merits so far outweigh its demerits, that one can pronounce a verdict of almost unqualified commendation upon the whole performance.
Tommy. I protest, Sir, for my part, that, being unable to form any clear opinion of my own, I shall repeat, in company, all that you, Sir, have just said with so much discretion.
Mr. Barlow. Whether, then, Master Tommy, do you consider it more honest to use your own faculties, or those of others?
Tommy was much abashed at this rebuke, and owned that he had hitherto preferred to come to an agreement with those who might be discussing any matter, than, by expressing a contrary opinion, to incur a diminution of friendship.
Mr. Barlow. Then would you sacrifice honesty to personal ease? Is it not more noble to assert one's own views with sufficient modesty?
Harry. Your remarks, Sir, call to my mind the story of Leonidas and the Conceited Pedlar, which, as Tommy has not yet heard it, I will now proceed to relate. You must know, then, Master Tommy--
At this moment, the curtain rising upon the afterpiece, precluded further conversation.
On quitting the Theatre, Mr. Barlow sent his card to the Manager, and on which he had written, that "he wished him continually increasing prosperity, and that if Mr. Buckstone would like to hear the story of Pizarro and the Virtuous Shrimp, he would attend him forthwith in the Kaffy next door."
No message, however, being returned, Mr. Barlow, after waiting for two hours on the steps of the Café, buttoned up his coat, and followed his young friends to their lodgings in the Strand.
A GOOD DAY'S WORK.
"The Paris Correspondent of the Manchester Guardian telegraphs that an English deputation waited on M. Thiers yesterday morning, with a view to obtaining the abolition of passports, improved international travelling, and the support of the French Government for improved harbours and the proposed tunnel under the Channel. M. Thiers received the deputation most graciously, and went over the whole ground."--Pall Mall Gazette.
All the wonderful things now-a-days are done by the old men. What middle-aged man, what young man, would have had the strength, to go "over the whole ground," like M. Thiers? The friends and admirers of the President of the French Republic must be delighted to know that he is so hale and hearty. For a man of his years to accomplish such a long and fatiguing journey, shows a vigour of Constitution which we are not accustomed to find in France.
[blankpage]
Page 112 { page image }
112 .......... PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. .......... March 16, 1872.
[Illustration]
SUNDAY MANNERS IN HUMBLE LIFE.
Sam Coster. "'Ere! 'Ave Twopenn'orth o' Donkey Ride, Maria?
Maria (his Missis). "Thank yer, Sam! but I'd rather take it in Liquor, if it's all the same to you!"
AN OMNIBUS TAX.
The simple abolition of Schedule D alone of all the Income-tax Schedules would, as the Times demonstrates, be unjust; but, if a suggestion made by the Times were adopted, Schedule D would probably be abolished very soon. Undoubtedly--
"Nothing can be more unjust than that an artisan who receives weekly wages to the amount of £250 a year should escape taxation, while a clerk who receives £200 a year in quarterly stipends should pay 6d. in the pound Income-tax."
As this partiality of taxation is perfectly unjust, of course nothing can be more so. But there might be other inequalities equally unjust. If an artisan earning £250 a year in weekly wages were forced to pay sixpence in the pound Income-tax, it would be quite as unjust that a crossing-sweeper who earns a shilling a day should be charged nothing at all. Were the Income-tax distributed over all incomes whatsoever, large and small, without exception, the injustice of its incidence would be greatly diminished. But that would be even more unpopular than taxing the People's tea and sugar. The masses would much rather have a morning's meal subject to insensible taxation than a Free Breakfast Table procured by an Income-tax shared by themselves.
Mortal Immortals.
Our notions of mortals and immortals, which we admit, are merely those of everyday commonplace sort of people, are thrown into strange confusion when we read that "M. Duvergier de Hauranne was officially received into the French Academy yesterday," and that "the new immortal delivered the customary panegyric of his predecessor." The only apparent solution of the puzzle wrapped up in these words is to suppose that the general instability of things in France has affected even its immortals.
THE WAGGAWOCK.
Firstly, behold the Cartoon opposite! As Quarles asks,
"Is not this type well cut, with Zeuxian art;
Filled with rich cunning?"
Of course it is. "That goes without to say," as the French elegantly put it. But there is something which Mr. Punch means to say.
He makes his best acknowledgments to Lewis Carroll, author of the delightfullest fairy lore extant, for the idea of a Mysterious Monster. Everybody worth thinking about has read the sequel to Alice in Wonderland, the new book called Through the Looking-Glass. Everybody can recite the marvellous poem therein, entitled "Jabberwocky." It is a household hymn among the cultivated classes, and its new and Chattertonian words are the delight of society. Mr. Punch very nearly cried out to the Prince of Wales, on meeting H.R.H. again, "Come to my arms, by Beamish Boy!"
But poets are also prophets, vide Mr. Carlyle, passim. The Author of "Jabberwocky," when long ago revolving that grand idea, in his scholarly seclusion, was preparing a type, the full merit and value of which now bursts upon the world, at a tough from Mr. Punch's magic wand. The Jabberwock meant the Waggawock, over whose merited overthrow all honest persons are rejoicing. The poem sets forth the story of the slaying of the Australian Monster.
Jabberwocky.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe,
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.--March 16, 1872.
[Illustration] TRUTH JUSTICE
"THE MONSTER SLAIN."
"AND HAST THOU SLAIN THE WAGGA-WOCK?
COME TO MY ARMS, MY BEAMISH BOY!"
[Vide "The Jabberwock," in Through the Looking-Glass.
Page 115 { page image }
March 16, 1872.] .......... PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. .......... 115
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jub-jub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch."
He took is vorpal sword in hand,
Long time the manxome foe he sought--
So rested he by the Tum Tum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgy wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my Beamish Boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.
Merely interpolating the note that the word "wabe" is explained by the Poet to mean "a grassplot round a sun-dial," but that it also means a Court of Justice, being derived from the Saxon waube, a wig-shop, Mr. Punch proceeds to dress the prophetic ode in plain English:--
Waggawocky.
'Twas Maytime, and the lawyer coves
Did gibe and jabber in the wabe,
All menaced were the Tichborne groves,
And their true lord, the Babe.
"Beware the Waggawock, my son,
The eyelid twitch, the knees' incline,
Beware the Baigent network, spun
For gallant Ballantine."
He took his ton-weight brief in hand,
Long time the hidden clue he sought,
Then rested he by the Hawkins tree,
And sat awhile in thought.
And as in toughish thought he rocks,
The Waggawock, sans ruth or shame,
Came lumbering to the witness box,
And perjured his Claim.
"Untrue! untrue!" Then, through and through
The weary weeks he worked the rack;
But March had youth, ere with the Truth
He dealt the final whack.
"And hast thou slain the Waggawock?
Come to my arms, my Beamish Boy!
O Coleridge, J.! Hoorah! hooray!"
Punch chortled in his joy.
CAN A LADY KEEP A SECRET?
This startling scrap of news we recently have stumbled on, copied from our trustworthy contemporary the Graphic:--
"A lady has found the principle which differentiates the finite from the infinite. She asks the Academy of Sciences a million sterling for the secret."
It ahs been said that a lady cannot keep a secret. But this, perhaps, depends on whether or no the secret is considered worth its keep. A secret that is valued at a million sterling is certainly worth keeping, if there be any likelihood of getting such a sum for it. At the same time we should hesitate, if the seller were a lady, to buy it at that price, and should rely on human nature with a pretty strong persuasion that the secret, after all, being in a lady's keeping, would not very long be kept.
Misleading Title.
To prevent a natural mistake, it may be as well to explain that the "Pacific Islanders' Protection Bill," now before Parliament, is not a measure to guard us poor peaceable English against Foreign Invaders, American, Irish, &c.
UTILISATION OF VICE.
[Illustration] BILLIARDS
GRAND MATCH
MESSRS
KITE & HAWK
WILL PLAY
MESSRS
PIGEON & DOVE
Repeal of the decree of 1836, which made gambling illegal in France, is advocated by not a few thinking Frenchmen. The necessity of raising the wind to pay off the German indemnity has opened their eyes. Why tax all manner of commodities and even talk of imposing an Income-tax on honest people, when by licensing gaming-houses, you might tax gamblers, and those, chiefly, foreign. M. Henri de la Pène computes that "the six German watering-places where roulette and trente-et-quarante reign realise sixty million francs a-year." His arguments for a revision of the anti-gambling laws deserve our own consideration. Among us those laws have not suppressed gambling, but only confined it to certain forms. Instead of dice there are stocks and shares, and the horsey betting-ring for all persons disposed to gamble. Why should they not be as well allowed to play at roulette, trente-et-quarante, and blind-hookey? If they were, then they could choose their several games, and there would be all the less gambling on the Turf and the Stock Exchange. There would be fewer speculative fits, and panics. No doubt gambling is a bad thing; but the way to deal with a bad thing which you cannot prevent is to make the best of it. By legalising and licensing all manner of gambling-houses, inclusive of betting offices, and imposing a tax on wagers, which would make them recoverable, you could raise much revenue. Those who supplied payment to it would not feel it, the loser would be untouched by an impost on his loss, the winner insensible of a duty on his mere luck. A gambler at present is simply a good-for-nothing fellow; if his gains were taxable and yielded tribute, he would be good for something. Gambling is a vice: granted. Suppose that all gambling were permitted, from lotteries to pitch-and-toss, under a duty; in so far, the expenses of the country would be paid by the vicious. The virtuous would go scot-free. Put down vice in preference to taxing it if you can. But if you can't, you can't; and wouldn't it be comparatively jolly for Virtue if Vice had to bear the national burdens?
A MYSTIC NUMBER.
It is much to be wished that every cell in Newgate were empty, but, next to vacant cells, arrangements for their future vacancy are the most satisfactory. The following brief extract from a contemporary is calculated to afford some satisfaction:--
"The Cat-o'-Nine-Tails.--Nine felons convicted of robbery with violence are at present in Newgate awaiting punishment by the lash."
Nine fellons together, with the Cat-o'-Nine-Tails in store for them, form, considered in their mutual relation, an arithmetical coincidence. Nine times nine are the square of nine, and when the nine felons are multiplied by the nine tails, their accounts will be squared.
Page 116 { page image }
116 .......... PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. .......... [March 16, 1872.
[Illustration]
COMPLAISANT.
Artist (after trying for half-an-hour to get the Expression he wanted). "No, no, it won't do, Smithers! The Position is Constrained. You don't Stand easy enough: I want you to look Drunk, you know."
Model (and he'd done his best, too). "Well, it is difficult to "Make Believe,' Sir,--but--if you should 'appen to 'ave 'alf a Bottle o' Spirits in your Cupboard, we could Manage it in no Time, Sir--I should be most 'Appy!!"
"FROM BETWEEN TWO STOOLS."
Up, in the cloud-lands of High Church,
Down, in the mud-flats of Low,
Hark to your Chapel and my Church,
At it, with word and with blow!
Minister girding at Rector,
Rector on Minister down.--
A white-tied Achilles and Hector,
With National School for Troy-town.
Through a longer than ten-year-long leaguer
That fortress the Church-Hector held,
And with orthodox lance, keen and eager,
The Chapel-Achilles repelled.
But Achilles found allies and backers,
Who seemed, for the time, of his mind;
Olympus was with the attackers,
And the scale against Hector inclined.
Awhile, those who'd backed up Achilles
Rejoiced to see Hector give ground:
"When he thrust from Pergamus Hill is,
Free way to 't," they thought, "will be found.
Then, at last, thirsty souls may have entry,
To draw of those fountains so clear,
With no jealous clerical sentry,
To tax and toll all that come near."
But scarce is the Church-Hector driven
From the gate he so struggled to hold,
Than Achilles, who so long has striven
To oust the Church Champion bold,
Himself to his foe's place advances,
And takes his foe's weapons to wield:
As sharp-pointed rancour his lance is,
As sev'n-fold intol'rance his shield.
And stubborn, in front of the gate, there,
Where for entrance the thirsty ones pray,
He proclaims "If I please, you shall wait there;
None shall pass, but by my will and way.
If Churchman once crowed o'er Dissenter,
Now 'tis turn of Dissenter to rule;
Not an urchin a free-school shall enter,
Unless 'tis a school of my school.
"If Hector once drove you like sheep on
The pathways to one Church that run,
Not less my road now you shall keep on--
The pathway that leadeth to none.
On these points there must be one mind, Sirs:
The point is, 'whose mind shall it be?'
Once you settled with him, but you'll find, Sirs,
On your necks that lay heavy as lead;
Now I'll give you a trial to see, Sirs,
How you like Chapel-yoke, in its stead."
So Chapel, loud echoing Church-cry,--
Bass and treble, but both to one air;
Page 117 { page image }
March 16, 1872. .......... PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. .......... 117
While the small unwashed, left in the lurch, cry,
And Britannia is driven to swear--
"I'm sick of your Low and High Churches,
'Twixt their two stools let down, like a fool:
'Plague o' both of your houses!' The birch is
More wanted in them, than in School!
"A truce to sectarian war-cries,
By Miall or Denison pealed,
Their slogan while Ignorance o'ercries,
And points to her plague-spots unhealed.
For I feel, 'Quicquid reges delirant,
Plectuntur Achivi," nor smile,
That 'tis Chapel, not Church, would play tyrant
O'er young England, school-less the while."
A FINE FOR A BEATING.
The Pall Mall Gazette says that:--
"In a case which came before the Magistrate at Wandsworth, a greengrocer at Putney, named Groves, was fined £3 for assaulting his wife; in default he was to go to prison for a month. He asked his wife to pay the money, which she did."
So the wife was fined for the beating which her husband had given her. What a pity, one may think, it is that the punishment for beating a wife is not such as necessarily to fall solely on the wife-beater's shoulders. If the latter had simply to be flogged for his offence, the former would not be liable to be fined.
WHO ARE THEY?
Who are the lucky people who can buy the guinea pears and twenty guinea pine-apples paraded in the fruit-shops?
Who are the still more lucky people who, without the cost of buying, get the privilege of eating them?
Who are the shabby people who nefariously bring their old umbrellas to their clubs, in the hope of profiting by casual exchanges?
Who are the curious people who buy the "curious old sherries" advertised at fifteen pence a bottle, or the "fine old crusted ports" at one and six?
Who are the clever people, who, now that it is over, have not all along predicted the failure of the Tichborne case?
Who are the credulous people that believe in Zadkiel's Almanack, or the tips of sporting prophets?
Who are the weak-minded people who buy the comic sheets which are hawked on penny steamers, and nowhere in the world else?
Who are the young ladies that pay their bets at races, when unluckily they lose them?
Who are the young gentlemen that never call their father "governor," even to their closest chum?
Who are the social people that would not much prefer a steak and pint of wholesome beer to the banquet à la Russe which is served by a cheap pastrycook, washed down with the champagne which has been bottled at the grocer's?
Who are the foolish people so credulous as to fancy that war will be the upshot of the Alabama business?
Who are the weak people that put their faith in quacks, and so encourage the outpouring of their advertisements?
Who are the wondrous people who buy the wondrous garments one sees ticketed by cheap tailors as "the Style!" "the Latest Fashion!" "the Ticket!" or "the Cheese!"?
Who are the virtuous young gentlemen that can give up football in order to escort their sisters for a duty-walk
Who are the odd people who in their hearts prefer the costly, tasteless, long white-stalked asparagus to the cheap and toothsome green-stalked, which alas! is not deemed fashionable?
Finally--Who are the wicked people who read Punch at the shop-windows to save the cost of buying it?
[Illustration]
"SWEET GIRL GRADUATE."
Charles (reading, succinctly). "And he's gone to Quod."
Laura. "Now, he'll know what a 'Quadrangle' means."
THE HOOGHLY AND THE ITCHEN.
There is a river at Calcutta and a river at Winchester; it is called the Hooghly at Calcutta, and there are salmons in one, namely the Itchen, which is the Winchester river, and from whose source was derived the ancient and noble name (De Itchenbourne, Tichborne) pretended to by the Wagga-waggawack. Vide Cartoon. But the salmons are only to be found in the mouth of the Itchen at Woodmill, and they sell in the immediate neighbourhood for as much as two and sixpence per pound.
Nevertheless, we hope that Lord Northbrook on Saturday last relished the Itchen salmon which we dare say he partook of at the dinner given to his Lordship at St. John's House, Winchester, on the strength of his appointment to the Viceroyalty of India. If he did not happen to taste the Itchen salmon, he surely tasted Itchen trout, among all the delicacies of the season deservedly provided to celebrate the self-sacrifice of a nobleman who goes out to govern Indians, when he might stay at home and enjoy himself. In giving Lord Northbrook a dinner upon a Lord Mayor's scale, a just appreciation of merit has been displayed by Robert Forder, Esq., Mayor of Winchester, duly mindful of the dignity of a City once not inferior to that of London.
TAKE CARE OF THE HALFPENCE.
"House of Commons.--At question time, Mr. Baxter, in reply to Mr. Greene, stated that it was intended for the future not to sell less than one dozen of halfpenny postage cards, for which an extra charge of one halfpenny would be made, and that a saving would in consequence be effected of £13,000 a-year."
Most of us are content, if we can turn an honest penny, but Government thrift outstrips private carefulness, and will be satisfied with nothing less than turning an honest halfpenny.
Cricketing News.
The Tichborne Eleven against the Australian Squad.--This long-protracted match has been decided, all the Squad being bowled out. Curiously, their champion player has been trying (vainly) to find his bail.
Page 118 { page image }
118 .......... PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. .......... [March 16, 1872.
[Illustration]
MORE POSITIVISM.
Confidential Housekeeper. ("That young Person" having called about the Under-Housemaid's Situation.) "But she says, M'm, she haven't a Character from her Last Place--"
Mistress. "And expects me to Take her without a Written Character? Good Gracious, Mrs. Roberts, has the Woman her Intellect?"!
Housekeeper. "Well, Mum, she have Somethink tied up in a Bundle."!!
THE PRESENT AND THE PILLORY.
Our bluff old English ancestors,
To rogues they so unkind were!
O dear, how such as Titus Oates
* The cart's tail whipped behind were!
A rogue, who naughty stories swore,
Not only did they beat
Sometimes once, sometimes twice or more,
Until his back was hurt all o'er,
To teach him not to cheat.
Sing, formerly, O formerly,
Rogue made to stand in Pillory!
Besides, to an impostor they
Did other things than those, too,
They cropped his ears and bored his tongue,
And slit up his poor nose, too.
Likewise they burnt him in the hand,
And on his face, or brow,
They stamped him with a red-hot brand.
A scoundrel, then, they would not stand,
As we, mild friends, do now.
Sing, formerly, O formerly,
Rogue made to stand in Pillory!
The perjured knave, who purse had none
To forfeit for false suing,
In person they adjudged to pay
The damage of his doing;
And, since they could not make him good
For any other thing,
A scarecrow to his tribe he stood,
Whilst at his visage, framed in wood,
The People had their fling.
Sing, formerly, O formerly,
Rogue made to stand in Pillory!
NEARLY THE LAST OF THE CLAIMANT.
Will Shakspeare's lines on the Tichborne Case:--
"What!
An Advocate for an Impostor?"
Tempest, Act I., Sc. 2.
Mr. Claimant to Mr. Baigent,
"You make my bonds still greater."
Measure for Measure, Act V., Sc. i.
On Another Occasion:--
"If it should come to the ear of the court how I have been transformed."
Merry Wives of Windsor, Act IV., sc. 5.
His Evidence:--
"I had drowned .......... You may know by my size that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking."
Merry Wives, Act III., sc. 5
To the Attorney-General--
"Thou art clerkly, Sir John"
Idem, Act IV., sc. 5.
On One very Important Point:--
"And, on my life, his malice 'gainst the lady will suddenly break forth."
As You Like It, Act I., sc. 2.
Printed by Joseph Smith, of No. 24, Holford Square, in the Parish of St. James, Clerkenwell, in the County of Middlesex, at the Printing Offices of Messrs. Bradbury, Evans, & Co., Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and Published by him at No. 95 Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride, City of London.--Saturday, March 16, 1872.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.--March 16, 1872.
WM. YONGER and Co.'s
EDINBURGH, INDIA PALE, AND
DINNER ALES.
[Illustration] Wm. YOUNGER & Co's SPARKLING DINNER ALE
ESTD 1749
Abbey & Holyrood Breweries
THIS LABLE IS ISSUED ONLY BY W. YOUNGER & Co. EDINBURGH
[Illustration] Wm. YOUNGER & Co's INDIA PALE ALE
ESTAB 1749.
TRADE MARK
BREWERIES
EDINBURGH
[Illustration]Wm. YOUNGER & Co's EDINBURGH ALE
ESTD 1749
Abbey & Holyrood Breweries.
THIS LABEL IS ISSUED ONLY BY W. YOUNGER & Co. EDINBURGH
SPARKLING, REFRESHING, NOURISHING, and ECONOMICAL.
To be had of the Principal Retailers.
Observe Trade Marks, as other Brands are frequently substituted.
Breweries--EDINBURGH. Established 1749.
London Stores, Belvedere-road, S.E. Liverpool, 1, Seel-street. Bristol, 14, Narrow Quay. Dublin Stores, 7, Lower Abbey St. Swansea, Quay Parade. Glasgow, Queen-st. Birmingham, 13, Temple street.
AUCTION SALE OF ANTIQUITIES.
Beginning October 19th next at Geisenheim, Rhenish Bavaria (Germany.)
Catalogue will be issued shortly. Further particulars furnished by Dr. Jur. Baron von Zwierlein.
DR. MUNRO'S NEURODYNE
IS THE ONLY SAFE AND CERTAIN CURE FOR GOUT, RHEUMATISM, TIC DOLOREUX, AND NEURALGIA.
No colchicum, no narcotics, the absence of which constitute Munro's Neurodyne the only innocuous remedy ever made known to the public. Personal reference is permitted to those whose testimonials accompany each bottle. Of all chemists, in bottles at 1s. 11/2d., 2s. 9d., 4s. 6d., and 11s.
NEW AND POPULAR NOVELS.
A BRIDGE OF GLASS. By F. W. Robinson, Author of "Grandmother's Money." 3 v.
ASTON ROYAL. By the Author of "St. Olave's." 3 v.
THE QUEEN OF THE REGIMENT. By Katharine King. 3 v.
A WOMAN IN SPITE OF HERSELF. By J. C. Jeaffreson. 3 v.
BRUNA'S REVENGE. By the Author of "Caste." 3 v.
GOLEN KEYS. (Just ready.
Hurst & Blackett, Publishers.
Allcock's Porous Plasters.
HIP DISEASE CURED.
"Lunt, Sefton, near
"Liverpool, Oct. 4, 1870.
"Messrs. Allcock & Co.,--Three years ago my daughter Jane was taken with a severe pain in the hip, and her foot was drawn up at least five inches from the ground I called in a physician and he told me she had hip disease. He tried for some time to cure her, but at last told me that nothing would help her, and that we must make up our minds to lose her. This was about a year ago. Then she could not move a step without the aid of crutches. A lady heard of the case, and kindly advised me to apply an Allcock's Porous Plaster to the part, as she had tried them herself, and seen their use always attended with the happiest results. I took her advice, and applied the first plaster about last Christmas: it gave her almost immediate relief. Since then we have used six or seven; and for the past two months she has walked to school and back every day a distance of three miles, and limps very little. Her mother and I consider it almost a miracle of cure.
"Thomas Sefton."
DR. JOHNSON, of Harford, says:--"My daily experience confirms the very superior excellence of your Porous Plasters. Surgeons should make us of these periorated plasters, to the exclusion of all others."
ALLCOCK'S POROUS PLASTERS are sold by all Druggists, at 1s. 11/2d. each, with full directions for use, or in any size to suit. The Yard Plaster is specifically recommended for Families and Physicians. One yard equals 18 plasters. Price 14s. per yard, 7s. 6d. per half yard, or 4s. per quarter.
N.B.--A Plaster sent to any part of the Country for Fifteen Stamps.
Principal Agency for Great Britain
(Wholesale and Retail):
57, GREAT CHARLOTTE STREET, LIVERPOOL.
All Orders and Communications should be Addressed to
HENRY D. BRANDRETH, General Manager,
ALLCOCK'S POROUS PLASTER COMPANY,
(OF NEW YORK),
57, GREAT CHARLOTTE STREET, LIVERPOOL.
Wholesale London Agents. -- Barclay and Sons, Farringdon Street; W. Edwards, Old Change; F. Newbery and Sons, 37, Newgate Street; J. Sanger and Sons, Oxford Street.
The Plasters are sold by all Dealers in Medicine.
THE NATIONAL THANKSGIVING.
The greatest novelty is the NATIONS'S WAVE OF SUSPENSE, just published, exhibiting, in a striking form and at one view, the alternations of hope and dismay during the critical illness of the Prince of Wales. Price 6d.
London: Houlston & Sons, and all Booksellers.
A Microscopic Reduction for the Album has been produced by the London Stereoscopic and Photographic Company, 54, Cheapside. Cartes, 1s.; Cabinet size, 1s. 6d.
WELBY PUGIN'S
GOTHIC FURNITURE.
Furniture similar to that supplied to the GRANVILLE HOTEL, From the designs of E. WELBY PUGIN, Esq., can be obtained on application to the Manager of the South Easton Works, St. Lawrence, Isle of Thanet.
N.B.--Estimates given for the furnishing houses complete in the Gothic style.
MAPPIN AND WEBB'S REGISTERED NOVELTY.
[Illustration]
THE WOODLAND'S BREAKFAST CRUET. 30s.
Illustrated Catalogues Post-Free from 76, 77, and 78, Oxford St., W., and Mansion House Buildings, City.
CURVATURE OF THE SPINE AND ITS MECHANICAL TREATMENT. By Heather Bigg, Assoc. Inst. C.E. Anat. Mech. to the Prince of Wales, &c. Largely illustrated. Price 1s. 6d. Messrs. Churchill, Burlington Street.
Contents:--Causes of Spinal Curvature--Deformities of the Head and Neck--Deformities of the Spine--Spinal Apparatus--Deformities of the Hips--Spinal Debility--Spinal Irritation--Spinal Gymnastics.
[Illustration] TRY MECHI'S Magic STROP.
DRESSING BAGS AND CASES, FIRST CLASS CUTLERY, DESPATCH BOXES, &c.
112, REGENT STREET.
CATALOGUES POST FREE.
DON'T BEAT YOUR CARPETS--have them Thoroughly Cleaned, and Colours Revived. Price 4d., &c., per yard. Bed and Mattress Purifiers.--METROPOLITAN STEAM BLEACHING AND DYEING COMPANY, 472, New Oxford Street, and 17, Wharf Road, City Road.
FADED CURTAINS DYED and made equal to New, at a moderate cost, in a few days, by the METROPOLITAN STEAM BLEACHING AND DYEING COMPANY. Price Lists sent.--472, New Oxford Street, and 17 Wharf Road, City Road.
EASY CHAIRS
FILMER & SON'S
Illustrated Price Lists Post Free.
31 & 32, BERNERS STREET. W.
KINAHAN'S LL. WHISKY. This most delicious old mellow spirit is the very
Cream of Irish Whiskies,
in quality unrivalled, perfectly pure, and more wholesome than the finest Cognac Brandy.--Note the words "Kinahan's LL." on seal, label, and cork. Wholesale Depot, 6A, Gt. Titchfield St., Oxford St.
[Illustration] MOLLERS COD LIVER OIL
MÖLLER'S COD LIVER OIL
PREPARED WITHOUT ANY REFINEMENT WHATEVER.
Since this Oil first attracted the attention of the medical world, ten years ago, at the London International Exhibition of 1862 its superior efficacy over the light-brown and the common pale Oils has been recognised and testified to by medical men and medical societies from most parts of the world. At every exhibition it has always been the only Oil carrying the first prizes.
Sold by Chemists, in capsuled bottles, at 4s. and 2s. 3d.
PETER MÖLLER, 521, Oxford St., W.C., and at Christiania.
Manufacturers: Stamsund, Gulvig, and Kabelvaag, Lofoten Islands, Norway.
BRUSSELS KID GLOVES:
These Excellent Gloves are sold as in Brussels, {Omitted text, 1 word} : With one Button, 2s. 6d. per Pair with Two Buttons, 2s. 11d. per Pair; by
DEBENHAM & FREEBODY, Wigmore Street and Welbeck Street, London, W.
"A most delicious and valuable article."--Standard.
FRY'S CARACAS COCOA,
"A Packet can easily be obtained, and its delicate flavour and fine aroma ensure its adoption as a Beverage for Breakfast or Supper."--Standard.
J. S. FRY & SONS, Bristol and London.
Mr. STREETER, GOLDSMITH, JEWELLER, WATCH AND CLOCK MANUFACTURER, 37, Conduit Street, London, W., and Burlington Steam Works.
The new Illustrated Catalogue of Machine-made 18-Carat Gold Jewellry, English Lever Watches, and Clocks, sent free by post for Two stamps.
ESTABLISHED A.D. 1777.
SANGSTERS'S UMBRELLAS, on Fox's Paragon, Solid, and Ægis Frames, With Fox's respective Trade Marks. The "Ægis Frame" combines shield-like shape with strength and convenience in use.
SANGSTER & CO.'S Address:
BREIDENBACH'S MACASSARINE OIL. 1s.
NEURALINE, the Instant Cure for the Doloureux, Neuralgia, Sciatica, Toothache, Rheumatism, Gout, and all Nerve Pains.--Prepared by Leath & Ross, Homoeopathic Chemists, No. 5, St. Paul's Churchyard, and 9, Vere Street, W. Sold by all Druggists, in Bottles, 1s. 11/2d., and 2s. 9d.
GLYKALINE.--The New Cure for all description of Colds, Coughs, and disorders of the whole respiratory tract; also in hoarseness, loss of voice, and difficulty breathing.
Leath & Ross Homoeopathic Chemists, No. 5, St. Paul's Churchyard, and 9, Vere Street, W. Sold by all Druggists, in Bottles, 1s. 11/2d., and 2s. 9d.
SALT & CO.'S EAST INDIA PALE and BURTON ALES, in Bottle, also in Cask, in the finest condition.
Champagne.--Bouzy, 44s.; Imperial Sillery, 34s.; Sillery, 24s. per doz. Port.--Cockburn's Old Crusted, 41s., 34s., 30s.,; Draught, 24s. per doz. Sherry.--S. Fino, 39s.; Fino, 31s.; Pale or gold, 24s. per doz.
Of selected qualities at the lowest cash prices.
Moody & Co., 40, Lime Street, London, E. C.
[Illustration]
LEA AND PERRINS'
SAUCE.
"THE WORCESTERSHIRE.
Pronounced by Connoisseurs
THE ONLY GOOD SAUCE."
Its use improves appetite and digestion. Unrivalled for Picquancy and Flavour.
BEWARE OF IMITATIONS, To avoid which, see the names Lea & Perrins', on all bottles and labels. Ask for "LEA & PERRINS' SAUCE." Agents--Crosse & Blackwell, London, and sold by all dealers in Sauces throughout the World.
RIMMEL'S TOILET VINEGAR, Perfumes, Lime Juice for the Hair, Aquadentine for the Teeth, Glycerine Soap and other unrivalled Toilet Preparations. List on application.
96, Strand; 128, Regent Street; 24, Cornhill.
DIGESTION PROMOTED BY PEPSINE.
Prepared by T. MORSON & SON, and recommended by the Medical Profession. Sold in Bottles from 3s., and in Boxes from 2s. 6d., by all Chemists, and the Manufacturers, THOMAS MORSON & SON, 124, Southampton Row, W. C., London. See Name on Label.
HEDGES AND BUTLER, 155, Regent St., London, W., and 30, King's Road, Brighton, invite attention to their varied Stock of WINES, amongst which will be found--
Claret .......... 14s. 18s. 20s. 24s. 30s. 36s. to 84s. per doz.
Sherry .......... at 24 30 36 42 48 to 60 "
Port .................... at 30 36 42 48 60 to 108 "
Champagne .......... 36 42 48 60 66 to 78 "
.......... Old Pale Brandy, 48s., 60s., 72s., 84s.
BEST FOOD FOR INFANTS. "Resembling Mother's Milk as closely as possible."--Dr. H. Barker on Right Foods. "The Infant Prince thrives upon it as a Prince should."--Soc. Sci. Rev. "Highly nourishing and easily digested."--Dr. Hassail. No Boiling or Straining required. Tins 1s., 2s., 5s., and 10s. Prepared by Savory & Moore, 143, New Bond Street, London. Procurable of all Chemists & Italian Warehousemen.
HOWARD'S PATENT PARQUET.
THE ONLY KIND GUARANTEED TO STAND PERFECTLY, AND CHEAPER THAN SWISS.
PATENT, No. 1,548.
[Illustration]
25, 26, and 27, Berners Street, Oxford Street, London, W.
J. & P. COATS'
Sewing Cotton.
J. & P. COAT'
Crochet Cotton.
WHITE AND SOUND TEETH, indispensable as they are to personal attraction, are only to be obtained by the use of
ROWLANDS' ODONTO,
which preserves and beautifies the Teeth, prevents and arrests their decay, and imparts a pleasing fragrance to the Breath. Ask for ROWLANDS' ODONTO, and avoid cheap imitations under the same name.
CHLORALUM.
SAFE, ODORLESS DISINFECTANT.
E. MOSES & SON supply every description of Clothing, ready made, or made to measure, for all ages, all occasions, and all classes; also Hosiery and Drapery, Hats and Caps, Boots and Shoes, and complete Outfits for all Climates.
ALL GOODS MARKED IN PLAIN FIGURES.
Any article exchanged, if not worn or injured.
SUITS, 32s. to £4 4s.
RULES for Self-Measure, Patterns, List of Prices, and Fashion Sheet, post-free.
E. MOSES & SON
MERCHANT TAILORS, AND OUTFITTERS FOR ALL CLASSES,
Minories and Aldgate, New Oxford Street, Tottenham Court Road, London, And Bradford, Yorkshire.
JOZEAU'S SYRUP and PÂTE OF LACTUCINE (active principle of Lettuce) possess all the soothing properties of opium without its dangers. Highly recommended by the medical profession in colds, asthma, and all chest affections.--At G. Jozeau's, French chemist, 49, Haymarket, and all the best chemists.--Pâte, 2s. 3d. and 1s. 11/2d.; post, 2s. 51/2d. and 1s. 31/2d. Syrup, 2s. 9d.
Information about SGML version of this document.
| PREVIOUS | NEXT | NEW SEARCH |